A shitty start to the day!

** this was written while I was still working but was not published as there were some issues with trolls. Hopefully they have forgotten about me and I am safe to publish now.

There are definitely some days when you should just STAY IN BED.

Or, if you get up and realize it is going to be “a day”, may I suggest you GO BACK TO BED!

I wish I had this morning!

As always, I woke up, showered, got dressed, dried my hair and then went downstairs! I, of course, had a Boxer puppy at my heels because he knows the next step in our morning routine is a walk around the block.

This is when the SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN BED “aha moment” happened.

Clark was crazy – jumping and pulling his head back every time I tried to put his choker on. and running away as if I were a morning person (NOT!) and might actually want to play chase!

Now I realize, that was his way (or maybe the universe’s way) of saying “Hmmmm – maybe a walk is NOT a great idea!”

He was completely distracted by everything that he encountered on our walk: leaves blowing in the breeze, squirrels scurrying across his path, sidewalk cracks, noises from passing cars, birds chirping, leaves falling from a tree, extra long blades of grass – EVERYTHING!

Because, in his opinion, everything had to be checked out NOW, he also thought it would be a great idea to pull his mother on the end of the leash! His mother vehemently disagreed!

To stop him from pulling, I stop walking until he looks back, makes eye contact and breaks the pull …. which is what “we” learned in puppy school. Usually he gets the message and that works.

Today, he just would not stop pulling so I pulled back on his choker and said,,,

“Enough! STOP PULLING!”

As I sharply pulled back the leash, the metal clip of his poop bag holder cut through the two VERY FULL poop bags I was carrying. And they were his second and third poop of the morning so they were nice and soft and warm! When the bag spliced open, the projectile poop flew out and hit the nearest target: ME!

I look down and I had dog shit on my hand, all over the front of my coat, on and under my boots and on the leash! NICE!

I turned around and there were people behind us walking. They were probably still reeling from me sternly telling him “Enough!” We stepped aside and let them pass.

I spent the rest of the walk gagging and telling him we would NOT be taking our usual evening walk tonight!

I got in the house and stripped down and put everything directly into the washing machine – jeans, socks and coat. My boots and the leash were waiting on the porch for clean up!

Then, I went upstairs to get redressed for work (because I have so much extra time in the morning!)

I felt like I could still smell poop! Bleuk! I hate that feeling.

Then I took a quick look in the mirror to realize why I could still smell shit!

IT WAS ON MY CHEEK!

For God Sake!! The people who passed us must have thought I was certifiably INSANE!

We will NOT be taking a stroll tonight!

The good thing about such a “shitty” start to the day is that it can only get better…. right??