A Love Note

Rob would have told you any day that he was a much better driver than me.

I would never have admitted it to him but I am sure he was right.

He would back his full size pick up in to the smallest of places. I would drive it around and look for three empty spots and pull in.

He would pull the trailer behind the truck and think nothing of it! I didn’t like it if there was too much behind me – in my trunk.

He had one ticket the whole time we were together and I think we have already determined that I have had a few.

So, this struck me as much funnier than it did him one day when we were shopping at Costco.

With his laser-like parking ability, he pulled the Ram 1500 into a not truck-sized spot in the Costco parking lot. It was an end spot so there is someone on one side and no one on the other. There was another car in front of him but he pulled up to within a respectable distance from their front bumper.

We got out of the truck and neither of us even thought for a second that there was something wrong with his park job. Firstly, because it looked fine and secondly, because there never was anything wrong with the way he parked.

However, someone in the parking lot disagreed with us because when we got back to the truck after shopping, there was a note on our windshield.

I went to grab the piece of loose leaf paper from under the windshield wiper blade on Rob’s side of the truck while he returned the shopping cart.

By the time he returned to the truck, I was laughing out loud, which does not happen very often.

I passed him the note and as he read it his eyes got bigger, his cheeks added a shade or two of red and the vein in his forehead practically popped off! Through all of this, I continued to laugh. My cheeks were not red, but wet with tears from laughing.

This is the note:

OH. MY. GOD.

Not only was he annoyed enough by the note to want to tear it into a million pieces, he was less than thrilled that I stuffed it into my purse!

I had to have a hard copy that I could share with people! Especially when he complained about my driving!

The funniest part was – I couldn’t figure out – was he offended because they said he couldn’t park or because they said he had a tiny dick? Or both?

We also had a lengthy discussion about who would have left this note – a woman or a man? We (mostly Rob) decided a woman because no man would ever reference the “dick size” of another man.

Lesson learned? If I ever leave a note on a man’s car, do not reference the size of his penis!