Are you safe, Ma’am?

As I start to think about my memories, there seems to be a pattern emerging. I may be a bit of a petty criminal. You will see what I mean in a minute.

When Taylor and Luke were little, we were driving to Hamilton one summer day when Rob was working. We were driving down a country road – first mistake!

Apparently, it is easy to exceed the posted speed limit on sunny country roads. 😲

I saw the cruiser on the side of the road but it was too late for me to slow down.

I am sure many of you have experienced what happened next .

• the cold sweat springing onto your forehead – and maybe even in some other more unsightly, unmentionable areas!
• the furtive look into the rear view mirror – as if you need to confirm that he is there
• the clenching of the butt cheeks
• holding your breath and / or swearing under it
• the silent prayer to the God of Traffic Tickets

It seems like a lot going on at once but it a takes place in a split second.

The blinding red and white flashers and siren polluted the air behind me and I was forced to pull over.

Dammit.

As the officer approached my car, I turned to the kids and told them not to say anything to the officer, that mommy would do the talking.

When he approached, he, of course started with, “Do you know how fast you were going?”

Well, duh, I thought! As soon as I saw you on the side of the road, I looked at the speedometer to see how hard I had to press my brakes!

Instead of that, I said, “No, actually, I don’t.”

As he started writing the ticket, Taylor piped up, like she had been asked NOT to do!

“Oh boy, mommy! You are going to be in such trouble! Daddy is going to be so mad!”

I turned around and gave her the stink eye, as the officer kept writing.

Apparently, either she missed it or just felt an uncontrollable urge to keep on going.

“Mommy – really. Daddy is really going to be mad.”

This time I had to be a little less subtle.

“Taylor! Enough!! What did I say about not talking?”

“I know mommy. I am just saying. You are in a lot of trouble.”

“So are you, if you keep talking!”

At this, the officer looked at me, leaned in the window and said to me, in a hushed voice, “Ma’am, are you worried about going home to your husband? Do you feel safe at home?”

Good grief!

I told him that I was not worried in the least and that my husband would not be impressed but I was not scared.

Sadly, suspecting I was a battered wife did not stop him from issuing a ticket!

Shoot!

Lesson learned? Don’t speed with kids in the car!

** Just as a little addendum: I DID get in trouble when I got home (but not beaten as the cop feared) but only because Tay has a big mouth and ran into the house ahead of me yelling “Daddy – guess what mommy did today!?” Thanks Constable JabberJaws!