A Two-fer isn’t always a good thing

My daughter is going to be a police officer – hopefully soon, depending how hiring and interviews go. Some people say that I am lucky. That I will have someone “on the inside” to look out for me and “help me with tickets”.

I say – can I introduce you to my daughter??!

I am pretty sure she will be the one out there looking for me, watching me to make a mistake so that she can turn on the lights and siren and literally hunt me down in the streets!

Luckily, she was not a cop yet a few years ago when I had my worst “police day” ever.

It is safe to tell this story now because there is no way that Rob can find out.

I was driving to the Board office in Kitchener for a meeting. I had left Luke at daycare not feeling well – no fever or diarrhea, don’t get uptight – just not feeling well. So, I made a big mistake and thought that I would quickly call to see if he was okay before parking and running into my meeting. As I dialed and put the phone to my ear on the street outside of the office, I saw a police officer parked on the side of the road.

Dammit! (Where are they when you need them?)

So, being the highly educated woman that I am, I came up with a split second solution to avoid any trouble as the lights flashed in my rear view mirror.

I threw my phone on the floor mat of the passenger side and calmly-ish pulled over.

The officer came up to my window and asked me if I knew it was illegal to be talking on a cell phone in the car. I said I wasn’t. (Good strategy) I still think this might have worked if you couldn’t hear, “Pam…are you there? Pam? Pam?” coming from my … floormat!

Needless to say, I got a ticket for cell phone in the car.

I went for my meeting and drove home. All the way home I was angry about the ticket. At the corner by my house (I had one more stop and a left turn to go and I would be safely in my driveway), I came to a “rolling stop”. I hate to say it but Rob nagged me more than once that at this particular stop, I did not always come to a complete stop. Sometimes to prove a point, and to be a little passive-aggressive, if he was with me, I would pop it into PARK and count, out loud, to 10 and THEN pull through the stop!

Wish I had done it this particular day because as I smoothly rolled through the stop, I looked in my rear view mirror and saw the freaking blue and red flashers AGAIN!

OH. MY. GOD!

The officer took my licence and registration (which, apparently, I should have just left out on the passenger seat) and went back to his cruiser.

Two minutes later, he came back and said, “I see you are having a bit of a bad day!”

Ya think! Thanks Constable Obvious!

I kind of half laughed and said that it was a good thing that I was close to home.

He wrote up the ticket anyway and when he handed it to me, he asked me if I would like a police escort home so I didn’t get another ticket.

I told him “No thank you. Knowing that you are here watching me, with your ticket book in hand, is more than enough to keep me in line for the last 500 metres of my drive.”

I did make it home safely and did not leave the house for the rest of the night.

I also did not ever tell Rob about my disastrous driving day! I would have heard about it every time I put the key in the ignition!

Lesson learned? Bluetooth is there for a reason – and so are STOP signs!