T-Rex

There is always that student in class who tries to shock you or ask a question in an effort to embarrass you! The BEST is when you can take it with a straight face and send it back to the student so that s/he is embarrassed instead. After 29 years of teaching, I have got this down to an art.

As I think back to this class, I can VIVIDLY picture this student. I swear he made it his mission to catch all of his teachers in a mistake or to embarrass them.

It was health class – a good place to come up with embarrassing fodder.

We were talking about masturbation (bet your office job seems boring now).

This kid put up his hand, and with a twinkle in his eye, said “Madame, do you think that animals masturbate?” I gave the example of primates and said that since they have hands and exposed/exterior genital organs, that yes, I believe that they do.

I didn’t even break a sweat. Much to his dismay.

So he tried again.

“Do you think dinosaurs masturbated?”

I smiled and said… well, take a second. Close your eyes and picture a T-Rex.

He closed his eyes and furrowed his brow.

I told him to open his eyes and I was standing in front of him doing my best T-Rex imitation, like this:

I said “Think about the definition of masturbation and what you need to do with your hands. Do you really think a T-Rex is masturbating?”

He went beet red and said, “Moving on”.

Madame Fanjoy: 1 Smart Ass Student: 0

** Mind you that is not always the score but it is SWEET when it is!

Lesson learned? Always try to have a humorous comeback to questions that are meant to embarrass you or put you off your game!